Reflections on my anger

Recently, I realised that I have suppressed much anger deeply within my system. The anger was a mix of unresolved anger from past lives, as well as accumulated anger in this lifetime. It was so deeply etched in my system, that I didn’t realise until I reflected on each issue layer by layer.

The shocking revelation felt like a discovery of my own “Jekyll & Hyde”, the story that revolved around the well-respected intelligent scientist, Dr Jekyll, and his evil alter ego, Mr Hyde.

For the longest time, I thought that I didn’t have much anger within my system. On the exterior, I am usually calm, quiet, patient, diligent and meticulous. I dislike the drama of conflicts or quarrels, and to the best of my ability, I distance or disassociate myself from them. However, that didn’t mean that I was detached from anger.

Anger could take many forms. On the one end, anger could be expressed as fuming & seething rage, filled with screaming, shouting and quick exchange of hurtful words. On the other end, anger could be an expressionless, somewhat peaceful or even politely obliging stance, with its currents stirring from within. It doesn’t matter that I wasn’t displaying anger outwardly, for anger still exists within my mind. One definition of anger (that I found helpful) is that anger is an inner delusion (part of the mind) that observes an object (animate or inanimate), considers it undesirable, exaggerates its bad qualities, and wishes to harm it.

Take our emotions towards family members or relatives that we dislike, as an example. When they display qualities that we deem undesirable (e.g. my dad’s obsession towards money), our anger is easily triggered. When we are angry, we tend to exaggerate the person’s bad qualities. For example, we begin recounting all the incidents in which that person displayed such undesirable qualities, and we quickly conclude that the person is delusional, hopeless, evil, bad or wrong. It is as if we hold on to a magnifying glass to zoom in on the person’s specks of dust, and conclude that the person is coated with dust completely. At that moment, we simply couldn’t recall the person’s good qualities. Our wish to harm them may not take the form of chasing after them with a chopper. That wish to harm may be more subtle, such as ignoring the person, or throwing sarcastic remarks upon them.

How then do we heal & release ourselves from anger?

The first step to heal & release ourselves from anger is awareness. To simply be aware that we hold anger within us, and to recognise it the moment it arises, or it is about to arise. One helpful benchmark is to notice the unpleasant feelings as soon as they arise within our mind.

The second step is to remember the disadvantages or faults of anger. When we have time & space for quiet contemplation, perhaps we can ask ourselves, “How has anger served me all these years?” We may even have flashback of an incident which made us deeply angry, and recall how we ended up suffering & being deeply in pain as a result. Often, anger returns to burn us with a vengeance. The external circumstances may or may not be affected, but we would certainly be affected. At that moment of anger, it is as if we suffer from a short circuit; we lose our wisdom to think rationally.

The third step is to prevent the anger from manifesting. To do this, we would have formed the strong view on the disadvantages or faults of anger (via second step). That ultimately, anger harms or destroys us. We then hold the determination not to allow our mind to go down the negative spiral of anger. We may repeat the three steps regularly during quiet contemplation, so that it can grow seeds of change within us over time.

Sometimes, despite our best efforts, we find ourselves unable to heal & release ourselves from anger. That may indicate an unresolved anger that is deeply etched within our system, which may have originated from past lives. That is when an Akashic Light Reading & Healing session may benefit you. For it allows one to gain a deeper awareness of where that anger originated from, as well as the higher wisdom of what lessons your soul chose to learn from this relationship or issue.

I hope the above sharing is helpful. Together with the Akashic Masters, we wish you well! ❤

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