Dear child, start by examining what are your blocks surrounding your inability to love & trust others fully and completely. Are there deep-seated old beliefs, false beliefs and fears hiding somewhere?
In your case, your inability to love others stems from childhood insecurities & memories of being judged by others unkindly. That deep down, you believe that people will never love you truly as who you are. That you have to “package” yourself in the most presentable manner in order to be loved. That love, in your case, demands reciprocity. How much you are willing to give equates to how much you are able to receive. That love is but a tiring transaction of giving & taking. That you have lost hope in connecting with & experiencing unconditional love with mankind. As everyone (including yourself & even your twin) practices conditional love – giving & taking.
As for your inability to trust others, it stems from betrayal in childhood days. Betrayal that you experienced from your dad who failed to live up to your expectations of what a father should be. Too caught up with societal expectations of “should” and “should not”. That deep within, you feel this deep suspicion to whatever “kind intentions” that are presented by the outside world. For you have been deeply hurt & scarred from your experience with your closest kin. That it somehow seems impossible that there is someone who can be trusted. That trust, like love, is conditional and has to be proved & earned.
But do you know that unconditional love & trust exist, and in fact, it is the norm in the Masters’ realm?
The first unconditional love that every human being experience is the chance of rebirth via your mother’s womb. It is a miracle that your soul gets to be reborn in this specific family, for you to experience the karmic lessons to grow & evolve in your soul’s journey. The next unconditional love comes with being protected, clothed and taken care of, in a way that gives your naked & vulnerable being a chance to live & experience this world. Without the love that your parents (or even guardians) gave, you would not have made it here today, wherever you are, whatever you do. You owe it to them (this lifetime & beyond) for giving you this precious rebirth. Treasure the opportunity to be alive.
As we grow, we take on so much baggage from the world. Our thoughts, beliefs and expectations of how ourselves and others “should” and “should not” be. We define ourselves with societal rules & expectations, like a suffocating rope tied around our neck. Unknowingly, we gave away our free will & power to others in the form of living to their expectations & desires imposed upon us. Even though it may be suffocating, many times we do so willingly or even reluctantly, so as to preserve the perceived peace & harmony in the relationship. Akin to a form of giving & taking to sustain & reciprocate the relationship.
Have we asked ourselves, who are we living this lifetime for?
What about our soul and its longing? What are our deepest desires? Have we given ourselves the free will & power to be liberated from the shackles of others’ expectations imposed upon us? Why do we limit ourselves & our fullest potential? How can we set ourselves free once more?
Begin by giving yourself the permission to love & trust yourself, fully and completely. No matter how others judge or criticise you, never abandon your soul; never similarly judge or criticise your soul. Instead, heal & nourish your soul, like a loving mother’s unconditional love to her baby. Whether you have experienced it or not, it doesn’t matter. Because change starts from within, and it starts from you. It may seem impossible to expect others to change for the better, but it is so much easier to start by working on ourselves: by healing & releasing our soul, and slowly opening our soul to experience unconditional love & trust (starting with ourselves).
May the change begin with you. Much love & peace from the Masters! ❤