Just to share, I have held on to painful childhood memories for almost two decades (when I am only aged 32 this year). That happened between the ages of 8 to 10, when I switched schools and transitioned to a foreign environment. Back then, my dad decided to quit his job and made his foray into opening his hardware shop. It was primarily for health reasons, as it was not sustainable for him (with a chronic heart condition & heart bypass) to endure the fast-paced & highly stressful job as a chemical engineer. The family made the transition by operating at the hardware shop together. At the age when kids were running around & spending time at playgrounds, we were at the shop helping out. Sometimes, we tried to do some homework, but it was just too hard. For the first few years, the family endured long working hours. When we reached home, it was usually past midnight. There wasn’t enough sleep for us. The chronic fatigue resulted in me perpetually looking like a panda (with dark eye circles), and made me unable to complete my daily homework or even focus in class (couldn’t stop yawning). Naturally, most teachers were disgusted with the less-than-ideal behaviour. I was publicly lectured & labelled as a problematic student, and often punished for failing to submit my homework or even bringing the right book. I was treated like a lower class citizen in class – caned, chased out of the room, stood in one corner, judgemental looks & comments etc. My self-esteem took a huge blow, and dipped to an all-time low. I couldn’t see why I was here on earth. I thought there was no value in my existence. I thought I might be better off dead, to save my dad the added embarrassment of speaking to my teachers yet again.
Deep down, I yearned to be loved, accepted, trusted or simply being understood by others. It was so dark within me that I couldn’t see any trace of love & light for myself. I created a protective shield all around me, decided it was time not to let others step all over me again. I rather spent time reading books alone in the library than to join other kids during break times.
Fast forward till today, I have finally learnt to value my childhood memories and to embrace my physical existence. Without those memories, I may not have formed this deep longing to serve mankind in whatever capacity that I can. I may not have learnt all the spiritual tools that allowed me to work deeply on myself, to heal & release day by day, the old energies (whether in past or present lifetimes) that no longer serve me. I may not have learnt the importance of loving & nurturing myself, and seeing the beauty within me.
In a way, I am thankful that things happened. So that I can learn, grow & evolve as a soul.
Now that I have discovered my connection with my Masters, I realised that I have never ever been alone. My Masters were always around me all these years, I just didn’t know. No matter what happened, the Masters remain loving & compassionate towards us. They too respect the laws of free will & divine timing, which means that they will only assist if asked, and they respect that each individual needs their own time to heal & work on themselves. Their patience is like a deep flowing river that knows of no limits.
Grateful that I am blessed to co-create this blog with the Masters! Thank you! ❤